Oh my internet friends, it has been too long! I’m crazy, crazy, and keep forgetting to come on here and post. :( I need to make this a routine thing. For myself, and for all of you.
After Christmas I lost about ten pounds. Which I gained and lost about fifty times since then. It’s horrible, and I feel disgusting.
I know part of it is just my body wanting to eat, so I restrict then binge. But part of it is control. My mom has been going crazy trying to control every single thing that happens with me. She gets mad at the littlest thing and needs everything to be her way. What she doesn’t get is I’m literally going crazy. Sometimes I feel like the whole world is going to end, just because she wants me to go to bed at a certain time. It’s crazy, but I need control over my life.
I want to move out, because then every aspect of my life will be in my control. I can buy (or not buy) what food I want. I can go to sleep when I want, go out when I want. I know that won’t happen, though, so I’m trying to figure something else out. I want to go live with my brother, in another state, this summer. I need to get away, and although he works a lot and won’t be home, that’s the point. I need to be alone. Left to do what I want. I hope my mother lets me, and I can’t get everything at work straightened out.
I’ll try to remember to post soon. There are two new thinspo posts on my secondary account. :)
stay strong;achieve thin.
bl1y Said:
on January 10, 2010 at 5:54 am
It could be worse. You could be 25, unemployed, living with your parents, and sporting an extra 15 pounds of “recession weight.”
anonymousana Said:
on January 14, 2010 at 11:58 am
Hi there! I just stumbled upon your blog when I was looking for blogs about eating disorders. I would like to network with other bloggers like yourself ;)
I really enjoy your blog! Keep up the great work and stay strong :)
~ anonymous ana ~